"Baby" Grocery Store

Another example of DIY signage and naming. This is a sign of a grocery store named “Baby” (Malysh). The caption underneath goes, “Vodka. Beer. Groceries. Vodka. Beer.” The baby on the picture looks pretty old to me but then… If from the infantile age you went vodka-beer-groceries you’d look like this at the age of five. Just make sure that you only drink vodka and beer your pediatrician recommends.

Related Tags: Russia, grocery store, baby, vodka, beer, groceries, humor

DIY Design

When you have a tiny stall selling milk and cheese at a huge open market you definitely want a catchy sign to attract customers. One way is to hire a designer to do the job but they are very expensive. And then – didn’t you always get A’s for arts class at junior school? DIY approach pays off.


This sign reads, “Dairy Products”. The store owner and his wife did everything themselves from concept development to painting, including creation of these exclusive wobbly fonts. Don’t laugh! With the help of this ad the number of customers tripled – everyone wanted to shake the artists’ hands.

With this ad Russian Marketing Blog open a new category “DIY Advertising and Design”.

Related Tags: Russia, signage, design, DIY, dairy products, humor

Beer Goggles

As alcohol marketing is the most sophisticated and well-developed segment of the industry in this country Russian Marketing Blog never stops its pursuit of various alcohol related facts. Take “beer goggles”, for example. Everybody knows that after a couple of beers (or some vodka shots) everyone around you becomes prettier. As we say in Russia, “There’s never lack of pretty women – only lack of vodka”.

Scientists at Manchester University conducted a special research to work out a formula to calculate how “beer goggles” affect a drinker’s vision. The project was financed by eye care firm Bausch & Lomb PureVision. What for? Are they working on special lenses that would protect drunk women from ugly men (or vice versa)? Judging from the result of the project their money were spent for nothing. Researchers didn’t find anything new.

First, they discovered that “beer goggles” affect men and women alike. Second, they calculated that the formula “more beer – more beauties around” works only to a certain limit. Then a subject under test passes out. Third, additional factors include the level of light in the room, the room's smokiness and – what a revelation! - the drinker's own eyesight.

Via Agendainc

Related Tags: alcohol, beer goggles, Manchester University, research

Crazy Juice

I think Russia has every right to boast the highest number of different juices and juice blends on the market. Name any possible fruit on earth and you find that its juice is available at any Moscow hypermarket around the corner. My favorite is J-7 blend of pawpaw, mango and avocado.

Baltimor is a leading Russian producer of ketchups that made up its mind to earn extra rubles on the growing juice market. It decided to occupy the vegetable juices niche. Ketchup is just a highly concentrated tomato, onion, pepper juice, you know. And Baltimor knows how to make ketchup. “8 Vegetables” brand was introduced just two years ago and soon became a hit. Although the blend of eight vegetables sounds very intimidating, the taste is superb. Baltimor did not rest on its laurels and went on introducing more juice blends one crazier than another. Take for example a blend of pumpkin, carrots and honey.

In January 2006 the seventh taste was launched. I think it was created to celebrate the Year of Red Dog. It’s a blend of red beet, red cabbage and ginseng. Something truly oriental. If you look at the package closer you’ll also notice pictures of pomegranate, carrots and green leaves of a plant I don’t know (mint?). Somehow they forgot to mention these extra ingredients in the caption. By the way, is pomegranate a vegetable?


Package design by ID Fabrika.

Related Tags: Russia, Baltimor, juice, vegetables, Red Dog

Chopsticks Mystery

My wife has just returned from South Korea where she was on business trip. Among many surprising things she encountered was the discovery that Koreans use steel chopsticks. This made me think. Hey, but in Moscow even most expensive sushi bars chopsticks are always wooden and disposable. That’s curious. I’m sure that patrons of sushi bars who take this for granted would be morbidly offended if at some French restaurant in Moscow they were offered plastic knives and forks.

One of the explanations I heard was that sushi bars were introduced in Russia by Americans not Japanese. And Americans don’t really care about restaurant “niceties” like porcelain plates, crystal glasses or starched table-cloths. Even Starbucks that positions itself as a high class coffee house serves 5-dollar venti brave cappuccinos in plastic cups. Is this explanation close to reality?

Related Tags: Russia, Moscow, chopsticks, sushi bar

Petrovich

Andrey Bilzho is a Russian psychiatrist whose long professional career at different “small but cozy” asylums made a very original cartoonist. His weird and often bizarre cartoons are published in “Kommersant Daily” and “Izvestia” newspapers. The cartoons’ protagonist is Petrovich – an ingenuous Russian man who very distantly resembles Dilbert.

This is a WWF ad print that says, “Petrovich, those who meets New Year with black caviar (beluga) will have the whole year painted in black”. This must be a new Russian superstition. Then if you eat red caviar sandwiches at a New Year party then that year will be red for you. Red (красный) in Russian also means “beautiful”. Red Square should be translated in English as Beautiful Square.

Talking about beluga caviar its sales are banned in Europe in 2006. This might save the few Volga white sturgeons from poachers. Don’t eat beluga in 2006!

Via Mode en Russie

Related Tags: Russia, beluga, black caviar, WWF, Petrovich, Bilzho, Volga

Ritter Auto

Eastern Germans will understand.

Form and Essence

Nail Khasnutdinov and Vladimir Demenchyonok created a new design for sunflower oil bottles. It proclaims the unity of form and essence and resembles a sunflower seed. The designers are sure that this bottle would stay apart from standard “dumb-bell” sunflower oil bottles. And – of course – this bottle is meant for premium oil.

I think this is the case when unity of form and essence does not conform to functionality and common sense. I often use sunflower oil and know that almost always a little bit oil gets on the outer surface and the bottle becomes slippery. That’s the reason behind traditional “dumb-bell” shapes. Also the surface is corrugated what makes things even worse. You take this bottle, tilt it over the pan – Slip! Splash! – and the floor of your kitchen is becomes incredibly premium. Does Fairy really helps in such cases?

Via sostav

Related Tags: Russia, marketing, design, sunflower oil, premium

Guess What?

French make-up brand Bourjois, MediaEdge CIA Russia advertising agency, News Outdoors Russia and Espar-Analytic launched a new project promoting Bourjois mascara Maxi Frange. The fist wave lasted only one week (1446 billboard surfaces in Moscow). The second wave is three weeks long and lasts till the end of January (500-1000 billboard surfaces). At the same time Espar-Analytic is conducting advertising research to prove the hypothesis that short campaigns with a lot of billboards are more effective than long campaigns with few billboards. Link.

The caption on the billboard goes, “It’s good in the shadow of her lashes”. What roused my curiosity is the mystery of the black creatures resting in that shadow. What are they? The ad itself doesn’t give any clues. So far my friends and I guess they could be:

- dandruff
- charcoaled m&m’s
- lice
- model’s boyfriends
- dirty tears
- those pesky nubbins caused by cheap mascara
- Max and Frange

Any other suggestions?

History of Russia

This text was written six years ago in times of the Great Russian Default. It has nothing to do with Russian marketing. Actually it has nothing to do with anything at all. In essence it's just a humble try to mimick Dave Berry (one of my favorite American columnists from Miami Tribune). There's so much of Dave Berry that I think this text has no author at all. Just consider it's written by Mr. Anonymous.

Так бы и оставаться России диким краем, хлебающим щи лаптем, далеким от Европейской Цивилизации и рекламы прокладок «Олвейз Ультра Плюс», если бы не родился Петр Первый. Уже с младенчества он начал проявлять черты невероятной прогрессивности. Например, взял однажды, да и казнил всех стрельцов, предвосхитив тем самым за триста лет кампанию по борьбе с курением в США.

Матушка позволила маленькому Петруше иметь собственную небольшую армию. Так были созданы потешные полки, с помощью которых Петр Первый отрабатывал новые прогрессивные приемы военного искусства, проявившиеся в полной мере во время войны с Крымом. Целые дивизии крымского хана валились на землю и умирали в конвульсиях истерического смеха при виде потешных полков.

В шестнадцать лет Петр Первый отправился в Голландию учиться цивилизации. Он устроился простым плотником на судоверфь, где сразу же привлек внимание своей энергичностью, талантливостью и трудолюбием. Взяв топор, он мог часами рубить корабли. Голландцы со всей округи собирались вокруг и говорили: «Эй, мин херц 1! Эти корабли стоят больших денег». Но никто с Петром особенно не спорил, потому что у него был топор, и он собирался этим топором прорубать окно в Европу. «Вон там, со стороны Германии, очень удобное окно получится»,- говорили голландцы.

И вот настало время для России быть принятой в ряды Европейских Цивилизаций, т.к. ее рейтинг цивилизованности уже оценивался западными экспертами в 4,56 биг-маков по Фаренгейту. В Москву приехала специальная приемная комиссия, но среди ее членов разгорелись споры. Одни хотели простого скромного приема с небольшим фуршетом по окончании официальной части. Другие настаивали, чтобы Россия перед приемом прошла ряд ритуалов посвящения. Например, пропела бы, стоя в одних носках на тумбочке: «День прошел, настала ночь. Дембель к дедушке идет». В конце концов сошлись на компромиссе – пусть Россия создаст современный флот, пострижет боярам бороды, назначит Чубайса вице-премьером и построит в Москве общественные туалеты. А там видно будет.

В России немедленно начали создаваться современные судоверфи. Уже через год тысячи и тысячи кораблей входили в состав Непобедимого и Легендарного Российского Флота. Члены комиссии внимательно осмотрели флот и спросили: «А воду для кораблей вы наливать собираетесь? А-то ваш флот еще очень долго будет оставаться непобедимым и легендарным». Тут-то Петр Первый и обнаружил, что у России нет выхода к морю. Оглядевшись вокруг, он приметил замечательное местечко у Балтийского моря, которое идеально подходило для молодой, растущей европейской цивилизации. Была, правда, одна проблемка – технически это место принадлежало Швеции.

Read Russian History from the start

Nostalgia

Almost every new technological gadget looks incredibly stylish and beautiful. When some 30 years ago I saw a TI calculator the first time in my life I thought its design was superb. Then years later one looks at the outdated machines with disgust – ugly things! But again when one becomes older and starts believing that in the past the sky was bluer and grass was greener, the charm is back again. Here’s a great nostalgia site for Soviet and Eastern Europeans PCs and calculators. I also had a Soviet-made Apple 2 compatible and thought I was the luckiest guy on earth.

Link

Related Tags: USSR, Eastern Europe, computer, nostalgia, Apple 2

Day Watch

“Day Watch” movie (aka Night Watch 2 aka Dnevnoy Dozor) made US$ 26 mln in just 15 days of January. 6 mln Russians watched it in 480 cinemas around the country. This is an absolutely record in the history of Russian (and Soviet) cinematography. What’s really amazing – the movie’s budget was only US$ 4,2 mln. Although ORT – the major Russian TV network – spent probably twice as much on advertising and promoting the movie. Incidentally ORT is also the producer of the movie.

In comparison with Night Watch the sequel is not so gloomy and one doesn’t need to read Lukyanenko’s novels in order to understand the plot. Cuttings between scenes are not so annoying and abrupt as in Night Watch but still it’s very well paced and all in all logical.
There are some original novelties I never saw before, like credits displayed on billboards and neon signs along the road as the Gorsvet bus drives by. Also a huge Ferris wheel rolling along the night streets and running over screaming Muscovites was terrific.

I was pleasantly surprised that product placement in the movie became quite subtle. At least not so much obtrusive as in Night Watch.

I’m looking forward to see Twilight Watch that is due to come at the end of 2006.

Click here to watch the trailer.

Related Tags: Russia, movie, Day Watch, Night Watch 2, Dnevnoy Dozor

What Are You, Fish Soup?

This ad of a new Moscow restaurant “Dikoye Morye” (Wild Sea) looks pretty innocent at the first sight. It says, “Did you eat fish soup?” But if you pronounce it (in Russian) fast, making stress at the last word, something totally rude and obscene will come out of your mouth. Something that involves the most popular Russian 4-letter word. Something that could be loosely translated into decent Russian as, “Are you out of your mind?” If you say this phrase to a Russian gentleman don’t be surprised when a bronze candelabrum lands on your head.

That’s what I call a postmodern way to attracting customers! Wild Sea restaurants should definitely expect crowds of Muscovites hungry for a plate of zuppa di pesce.

Via adme.ru

Related Tags: Russia, Moscow, advertising, restaurant, fish soup, postmodernism

Naomi Banned in Belorus

President of Belorus Alexander Lukashenko banned printed ads with models who are not citizens of the country. He didn’t even make an exception for Russian models. Since the 1st of January Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss should provide proof of Belorussian citizenship if they want to remain of billboards of Minsk. Mr. Lukashenko only wants to promote Belorussian models as he thinks they are unfairly discriminated by international advertising agencies. Unfortunately almost all international perfumers have global contracts with models and will probably stop advertising in Belorus. What is good for national self-esteem sometimes is bad for economy.

Via sostav.ru

Another Soviet Ad

Another Soviet ad print of 1930 found on davno.ru. This one is promoting women’s health by using one of the most popular fitness method of the early 20^th century – strengthening the body by cold water. “Did you take care of your breasts?” asks the ad sternly. “Strengthen your nipples by washing them daily with cold water.”

Millions of people still believe that cold showers, swimming in icy water or walking on snow barefooted is good for your health. It might be true in an indirect way as icy water gives shock to your immune system and if it’s strong enough it “boosts” your health. But the same would be true if you, for example, contaminate yourself with some nasty viruses. They will “train” your immune system even more efficiently.

There’s just one question left unanswered. Why does anyone need strengthened nipples?

Soviet Union, Advertising, 1930, social marketing

Soviet Ads

Here is a example of Soviet advertising of 1920s. This bizarre print advertises baby’s pacifiers from Resintrest.


The caption goes, “There are not and never were better pacifiers. I’m ready to suck them till my old age. On sale everywhere”.

More Soviet ads on Davno.ru

Soviet New Year Postcards

Here’s a great collection of Soviet New Year postcards from 1950 to 1990. You can see all metamorphosis Soviet New Year symbols undergone in forty years. Old Man Frost (or Grandfather Frost) – a man who looks very much like Santa but who really hates him. Snegurochka (Snowmaiden) – Moroz’s granddaughter. Yolochka – New Year tree that looks exactly like Xmas tree but has a red star at the top. Snegovik (Snowman) – plays the same role as Santa’s elves together with Snezhinkas (Snowflake girls). Noviy God (New Year boy) – he was very popular in the Soviet times. New Year boy symbolizes the coming year who is newborn in January but becomes very old (and dies) at the end of December. No wonder this fast growing guy somehow disappeared in the last fifteen years.

Technorati Tags: Russia, Santa, Ded Moroz, Soviet, postcards

Happy New Year!

Moroz vs Santa

Santa and Ded Moroz are fighting marketing wars in Russia. The most important war is between toy producers. One sees only few Ded Moroz toys in stores as they are produced in Russia and are more expensive. On the other hand Santas toys come from China and sometimes are 2-3 times cheaper. Although they look almost alike the difference is quite visible. Santa’s coat is too short, his hat is silly, he doesn’t have a magic staff and wears glasses. Enough to make Russian patriots mad!

Pepsi and Coca Cola also joined this war over hearts and minds of Russian kids. Pepsi is fighting on the Russian side. Coke – on the side of Western globalists.

Moscow Times staff writer Anastasiya Lebedev covers this story in depth:

Coke's festive season mascot is red, Pepsi's is blue -- and whether it's Santa Claus or Grandfather Frost is up to you.

Both companies call the jolly old man on their respective holiday web sites "Ded Moroz," or Grandfather Frost -- Russia's equivalent of Santa, associated with New Year's rather than Christmas. But Coca-Cola's wears a red hat and coat and is based on the 75-year-old Santa image used to advertise the brand all over the world, while Pepsi's Moroz is garbed in a long blue robe, according to Russian custom, in order to cater to the local consumer.

"It's the traditional Russian color [for Ded Moroz]," said Konstantin Kuzmin, vice president of marketing for Pepsi Bottling Group Russia. He said that the fact Ded Moroz wears blue was a "good coincidence" with the Pepsi brand's color.

The fact that Pepsi's image in Russia is more Russified than Coke's fits with the two brands' histories in this country.

Large-scale production of Pepsi began in the Soviet Union in 1974, while Coca-Cola is a relative newcomer, having opened its first domestic plant in 1992. Coca-Cola soon catapulted to the top of the market and has maintained its position. A study of the soft-drink market by research agency Business-Analytica for March to July 2005 said the two colas led the chart, with Coca-Cola enjoying a market share of 19.4 percent, followed by Pepsi with 13 percent.

I stay with Pepsi.

Technorati Tags: Russia, Santa, Ded Moroz, Pepsi, Coca Cola

Jokes

I don’t need Reach Access toothbrush as I don’t have teeth in places hard to reach.

Close your eyes. Give me your hand. Do you feel it? – Is it silk? – No, I shaved my back.

Do you have speech problems? You stutter? Stammer? Lisp? Ask your pharmacist for new Immonotropodyspohydroscartteoned. Now with lemon flavor.

Vodka ‘Time Machine’. You drink it and it’s tomorrow!

10 Tick-Tacks for breakfast, 70 for lunch and 30 for dinner. Your breath is fresh but very weak.

Drink orange juice! Orange juice is health! Health is sport! Sport is success! Success is sex! Sex is AIDS! AIDS is death! DON’T DRINK ORANGE JUICE!

Internet via railroad rails. The widest bandwidth ever!

Russian Union of Pediatricians endorses only Pampers. Russian Union of Pediatricians is the only union created with the sole purpose to endorse Pampers.

A rat asks a hamster, “Why humans hate me but you have such success with them? What’s wrong with me? I’m good, nice, smart and kind. The only difference between you and me is my tail.” The hamster (pauses), “Have you ever heard of PR?”